Category: Spielpalast Cabaret

My life’s odometer

I found out last week that Scarlett and Young Dude are engaged! The question was popped during a romantic weekend getaway. The blushing fiancé told me they’ll be moving to North Carolina shortly and will return in the summer of 2006 for their wedding. Mazel tov!

In other news, Sarah the L was cast in the Spielpalast Cabaret! The troupe will be performing in Burlington one weekend only (last weekend in April) and will follow that up by touring the state over the following weekends. In celebration of this achievement, and to show my support, I offer up the following pledge to any of my friends or Sarah’s friends who should happen to stumble upon this blog: if you venture from out of state to attend the Burlington show, I’ll buy your Cabaret ticket for you so long as you join me front and center for the performance.

On a related note, shortly after her casting, Sarah the L discovered that Cute Redheaded Flask-in-Her-Cleavage Solo Girl from last year’s cabaret was none other than Cute Rainbow Belt Lesbian Biker Girl from the Loser Cruiser!!! What a small world!

And speaking of that old faithful hunk of public transportation funds…

…while riding the Cruiser last week, I noticed something tragic: Cute Red Hat Girl’s red hat sitting alone on one of the seats. For the next week, whenever someone exited the bus, someone else inevitably yelled, “Wait! You forgot your red hat!,” only to find out that the owner of the hat wasn’t on the bus. So it seems that, for whatever reason, Cute Red Hat Girl no longer needs the Cruiser, but as an offering to the Goddess of Safe Travels, and maybe as a symbol of her departure, her hat remains.

As I sat there pondering Cute Red Hat Girl’s whereabouts and current commuting options, I was reminded of my own reasons for using the Cruiser: Inga. She has been struggling as of late, but she’s still a faithful friend. And although her disbelief in fringe benefits has slowly convinced her to stop doing many of her mostly-inconsequential jobs (eg, the broken hinge on the arm rest/cup holder; the child proof but mostly Mr. Benchly proof locks to the backdoors; the refusal to open her hood in cold weather; the hole in the ceiling’s upholstery; the lack of heat, the CD player/radio that plays only the radio; etc), the one task I can always count on her to follow through with is keeping an accurate odometer.

As the years and miles have gone by, I’ve always been excited to see the beginning of a new ten thousand miles. And my favorite part is when, for example, the 150,000s are close to becoming the 160,000s, and in the last hundred miles, the 5 slowly turns into 6. Turning appropriately much slower than an hour hand on a clock, the second number on the odometer makes its way to a number it has seen only once before and will probably never see again.

It is in this random, once-in-a-many-months experience that I find the best reflection of my own life. From many hundred miles away, I can see a change coming. I can feel it. And though anxious to experience it, I must be patient enough to cross the many miles of life still left standing before me. So while the Scarletts, Young Dudes, Sarah the Ls, and Cute Red Hat Girls of the world see their odometers change over a new leaf in their lives, I know that my new 10,000 is just around the corner.

If I Can’t Sell It, I’ll Keep Sittin’ On It

Last July, I treated Sarah the L to a night on the (B-)town to celebrate her 27th birthday as well as the always-popular Canada Day. The evening started off with a lovely Irish dinner at RiRas Irish Pub on Church Street and was followed by front row seats in the FlynnSpace Theatre for Burlington’s hottest sensation: The SpielPalast Cabaret. During the show, Sarah promptly fell in love with one of the performers (Victoria Mary MacKay) and while true to our forever-different tastes in women, I fell for another (Trixie). Since then, we’ve always drooled at the thought of ever having the chance to meet the actresses behind the skimpy outfits and thanks in part to luck, fate, and talent, Sarah may have a chance to see her dream become a reality. My dreams on the other hand, are another story, and the second half to this one.

Part 1 – Victoria Mary MacKay

While it’s safe to say that due to her ever-steady relationship with Smoochie Poo, Sarah would NOT jump at the chance to jump Victoria Mary MacKay, I also think it’s safe to say that the thought of said jump has never left her mind. She’s the celebrity you put on your List. The one you’ll never have but are allowed to think about. (Incidentally, my list is as follows: Scarlett Johansson, Vyvienne Long, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Zooey Deschanel, and Audrey Tautou.)

I can’t say for certain when Victoria first caught Sarah’s eye, but I do know that the deal was most definitely clinched when she ventured out into the audience during a song and dance about money, leaned over our table, and seductively chewed on some fake gold coins. At this point, my guess is she could have stolen Sarah’s money, and Sarah would have been fine with it.

After the show, Sarah learned of a connection she had to Victoria (through a mutual friend) and that all she had to do to meet this money-eating woman was to sign up for a dance class taught by her. For whatever reason, Sarah passed at the opportunity and resigned herself to a life of never knowing whether or not Victoria was the only one who could ever teach her [African dance].

Now fast forward (through Sarah’s inevitable courtship with Smoochie Poo last year) to earlier this week: While out on the town, Sarah came across a flyer advertising auditions for this year’s cabaret…run by none other than Victoria herself. After much thought, and encouragement from both Mr. Benchly and Smoochie Poo, Sarah showed up for the auditions today and gave it her all. Knowing Sarah’s vocal, comedic, and dancing talents, I’m sure she’ll be selected to play some sort of role in the show. And with that, comes her opportunity to finally meet the woman behind the dream. Wish her luck. And a moment of anti-jealousy thoughts sent Smoochie Poo’s way would be nice too =)

Part 2 – Trixie

While seated next to Sarah the L at the aforementioned cabaret last year, my eyes quickly focused on a petite woman stage right. With the rest of the troupe, she was dancing with a chair while singing the song “If I Can’t Sell It, I’ll Keep Sittin’ On It.” Later on, to the audience’s delight, she played the part of a magician’s assistant with a high-pitched/squeaky voice and her animated movements. I’ve always said that Trixie stole the show and with her Victoria-goggles on, Sarah has always vehemently denied this claim.

After the show, as was always the case during that period of time when Sarah and I both found ourselves single, we brainstormed to come up with the best way for us to meet the women who had visually affected us so much. And, as was often the case, our shyness and lack of confidence won the battle against our infatuation and attraction. The night ended and so too did the summer, and until Sarah’s recent cabaret audition, Victoria and Trixie have only been footnotes to our lives, hidden in the back of our minds with high school locker combinations and Sandra Bullock movies.

When Sarah told me of her auditions, I did the selfish thing and thought, “now maybe I’ll get to meet Trixie!” Of course, I justify my reaction by reminding myself of Sarah’s probable thoughts: “now maybe I’ll get to meet Victoria!” And so, as we waited in line at Muddy Waters (B-town’s coffee shop) after Sarah’s audition, it was a pleasant surprise and a welcomed coincidence to notice Trixie standing stage right behind the counter, handing a coffee to the person in front of us. Sarah and I played a thrilling game of Scrabble and sadly, at the end of Trixie’s shift, I watched as she exited the shop with the Jordan Catalano rip off with whom she had shared her shift.

And so now, as Sarah anxiously waits for a phone call offering her a part alongside Victoria in this year’s cabaret, I sit here thinking of how I could possibly approach the coffee shop woman stage-named Trixie. I fear that my own fears will once again come into play in which case, if I can’t sell it, I’ll keep sitting on it, before I give it away.